


Oh to be Perceived

by MessrsMoa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Background Wolfstar, Jegulus, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:41:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessrsMoa/pseuds/MessrsMoa
Summary: But he guessed that that was just his lot in life, the eternal wallflower, destined to perceive but not be perceived.And right on cue, as if the universe were playing a prank on him, he could feel his presence before he even saw him.Disclaimer: I do not support or condone jkr or her disgusting views in any way or any of the actors who hasn´t spoken up against her.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	Oh to be Perceived

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I felt compelled to write this because Mia and Claire won´t stop posting content about Jegulus...and I feel myself shipping it more and more everyday so here it is- first chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy:)

The shattering of students grew louder, in the hallway, as the large mahogany door to the left opened and about forty of them trickled out of it. The sun was shining through the big window above the grand staircase that led to the main outside area of campus. It was a couple of days into the new autumn term at the university and the leaves of the trees outside were slowly turning from green to yellow, orange and red.

All of this Regulus observed as he sat leaning against the wall, knees bent with the soles of his vans pressing down on the flagstone floor, sketching in his notebook, 1975 blasting on top volume out of his air pods. He usually had a hard time concentrating on one thing at a time since his mind seemed to always pick up on every sound, smell, movement that occurred anywhere near him.

That was kind of a blessing and a curse, he thought to himself. Being very perceptive, noticing every small detail, could – not to sugar-coat it – literally drive him mad sometimes but also had proved itself to be quite useful.

But he guessed that that was just his lot in life, _the eternal wallflower_ , destined to perceive but not be perceived.

And right on cue, as if the universe were playing a prank on him, he could feel his presence before he even saw him. That was something that always happened whenever _he_ was around, Regulus was constantly aware exactly where in the room he was without even having to look.

The young man looked up slowly and right there in front of him he stood. Every bit as broad shouldered and tall as the last time Regulus had seen him, nine months ago, during winter break. His skin a warm brown colour, hazel eyes glowing with that genuine excitement, behind round glasses, that he had only ever seen those eyes emit, full lips curled into a mischievous grin, mop of jet-black hair.

“Reg.” James said smiling dopily.

“Hi James.” Regulus answered and couldn’t help but smile back. He had always had that problem when it came to James.

“Well what are you doing down there? Get up and hug me you prick, I haven’t seen you in ages!” James laughed pulling Regulus up of the floor and embraced him tightly.

Regulus let himself lean into it, against his better judgement, feeling every bit of anxiety he had felt since arriving on campus slowly rinse away like water down a drain, second by second. James smelled the same too, that comforting smell of warmth, cinnamon, _home_ , he thought.

The other man pulled away from the hug still smiling, hazel eyes searching for something in Regulus´ piercing grey ones.

“Fuck I´ve missed you.” He declared, in such an honest voice it made Regulus feel all warm but was followed by the feeling of being stabbed directly in the heart, and he was honestly not even being dramatic.

“I´ve missed you too James.” Regulus said very quietly, and he truly meant it.

 _Of course_ he had missed him, every day that had gone by since James had left had been hard. Seeing him during the winter break had somehow also only made it that much tougher. Having to say goodbye once more made the pain he´d felt at their first goodbye strike him all over again, as if all the days he´d worked on recovering had gone away, picking himself up at square one.

But…actually saying that out loud, that he missed him, with all the intertwining various feelings underlying the statement, letting it fill the air, that he had never done before and it frightened him.

“Come on let´s go out into the grounds!” James smiled, seemingly unaware of the emotions swirling inside his mind, and Regulus picked up his backpack following the taller man down the stairs, slipping through the door he held open for him.

Well out into the grounds Regulus felt the sun fill him up with warmth, for some reason he was always feeling a bit cold and always welcomed the sun, a warm fire or an extra jumper. They came to a stop under a big oak tree where James tossed his own shoulder bag to the grass and sat down.

Regulus looked at him, standing awkwardly, until James patted the ground beside him giving him a reassuring look. He sat down leaning against the tree, comfortable silence filling the air between them.

Regulus looked out over the campus. The old main university building was incredibly beautiful, and he understood how it was one of the most popular universities in England based on pure looks alone. He let his gaze travel over to the green lawn which stretched out in front of them, different sized groups of people spread out over it, some eating lunch accompanied by a to go mug of tea or coffee, others chatting animatedly laughing loudly, others with noses in their books clearly already stressed about the semester to come.

“How have you been Reg?” James´ voice spoke and brought him back, out of his trance.

“Fine, just fine,” He answered looking at James, giving him a meek smile, “You?”

“It´s been great, I love all of my classes so much especially gender studies. It´s so interesting!” James replied with such vigour, that sort of gusto only James Potter had and that was enough for Regulus´ heart to skip a beat. James was the only person in the world who could make absolutely anything into something positive, so when it actually came to the stuff James loved there was no stopping him or his excitement.

“That´s amazing Jamie, I´m so glad to hear it. What is the most interesting about the course yet?”

“Everything!” He replied, his eyes matching the grin that was spreading on his face and Regulus raised his left eyebrow chuckling.

“Okay okay,” James laughed, “I love learning about intersectionality obviously, I notice even more stuff than I did before about the world, its power dynamics and how it is all connected. We have just started on Queertheory this term and its history and that is very uhm…eye-opening to say the least.” James´ hand shot up to his hair.

“Oh yeah? It sounds very interesting.” Regulus smiled at the all too familiar gesture.

“What have you been doing then?” James said catching his eyes once more, smiling that ridiculous smile he always reserved just for him, or that was what he told himself at least.

“Just been trying my best to finish secondary school while staying under the radar.” He laughed and James eyed him warily.

“Has anything happened Regulus? Has someone done something to you?” He said very seriously. You could always count on James´ fierce loyalty to kick in.

“No no, don´t worry I´m fine.” Regulus shook his head.

It felt good, he wasn´t going to lie, that James reacted that way for him still.

“I feel like there´s something you aren´t telling me.” James said quietly and silence once again filled the air. “You can always talk to me Reg, you know that right?”

Regulus looked into James´ honest eyes and had just opened his mouth to respond when he heard someone calling out to them.

“James Fleamont Potter, have you already abandoned me for my brother? I am honestly very hurt.” He turned his head to his right and saw his older sibling walking towards them.

“Hi Regulus.” Remus added, “James.” He nodded striding next to Sirius, both of them making their way closer to the oak tree.

“Sirius, I´d never abandon you mate who do you take me for?” James grinned and then turned to Regulus, “Even if I´m very tempted.”

Once again a warmth spread through Regulus. A warmth he shouldn´t be feeling. James had made that quite clear.

“Hi Sirius.” He nodded towards his sibling.

They too looked the same, black hair reaching their shoulders, slim as they´d always been, same piercing grey eyes that Regulus had, high cheekbones, black arched eyebrows, even though it had been a year since they´d met in person now.

He turned his head to Remus and gave him a smile, “Hi Lupin.”

He was still very, very tall and had the same figure – not broad like James and neither slim like Sirius – curly brown hair which was shorter on the sides.

But both of their eyes were different. They were much happier than the last time he´d seen the two of them and he felt as though Remus and Sirius held themselves differently. University had clearly been good for them both. _For them all._

“Hi Regulus.” Remus smiled back.

“Come one now, give each other a hug!” James said dragging himself and Regulus of the ground, more as a command than a request, looking between the two siblings.

Regulus fixed his eyes on Sirius who looked just as unsure as he felt, but then Sirius smiled at him and it felt exactly as it had, those days when it had only been the two of them against the world. He walked some steps forward, Sirius´ eyes were a bit shiny now and then they brought him into a hug with such force.

“Hi.” His older sibling said.

“Hi.”

“Yes! That´s more like it!” James exclaimed putting an arm around Remus.

“How have you been Regulus?” Remus asked from their right and the two siblings released each other.

“Good, thanks. How about you?”

“Really good.”

“Well Reg, I´d love to catch up but I´ve got class in a couple of minutes.” Sirius said still smiling. “Maybe we can meet up tonight or tomorrow?” They continued sounding more nervous.

It felt nice either way and Regulus couldn’t help but smile back at them. Maybe now away from their hometown, their so-called family and all those memories they could finally find back to each other. _Maybe_. There was so much that had happened between them though. He held onto that maybe with every inch of hope he had left.

“Yes absolutely.” Regulus nodded back and picked up his backpack readying himself to be alone once again.

“I´ll walk you to class!” James chimed in, which took him a bit by surprise.

Regulus nodded and they said their goodbyes to the other pair. They walked towards the other side of Campus where a slightly smaller building stood, home to the art majors.

“I´d love to spend some time with you to…to catch up.” James said much quieter than his usual volume but still very honest and with that James-like sureness.

“James.” Regulus shook his head and sighed.

“What? Is it wrong of me for wanting to spend time with you?” James stopped walking, voice rising slightly higher but still soft.

“No of course not, it´s just…you gotta give me a chance to at least…I mean you…” He shook his head again, hating how well articulate he was in everyone’s presence except James´, “You were the one who ended it… _whatever it was_.” He finished lowering his head, voice muffled.

He looked up to see James´ hazel eyes wide and clearly solemn.

He didn´t say anything to respond. James _always_ had something to say, Regulus thought.

Come on James, say anything, tell me I´m wrong, tell me you regret it, even fight me, anything please.

“I understand,” James said after what felt like minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, _eternity_ , “If that´s what you want, I´ll respect that.”

 _James that´s honestly the last thing I want_ , Regulus wanted to say but it was only a half truth because although he wanted to spend time with James more than anything, that would only be detrimental for himself and he was trying to be better to himself, _trying_ being the key word.

Regulus looked down and must have been quiet for a long time because only when James murmured a “Bye Reg” did he look up just to see James walking away from him, back turned, exactly as he´d done twice before. And all he wanted to do was scream at him;

_Please don´t leave me here alone again._

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out on tiktok - moonyxmoa :)


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